Canberra Celebrates 100th Anniversary with Bizarre Balloon

To celebrate the 100th anniversary of Australia's capital, the government commissioned sculptor Patricia Piccinini  to create an 1100-pound hot air balloon, entitled Skywhale. The balloon looks something like a prehistoric manatee with  8 nipples. The balloon has ignited some controversy, because no one can quite tell what it is, or what it has to do with Canberra. Some critical taxpayers have decried the art as a waste of tax dollars. The 34 m long balloon cost $172,000, and took 16 people seven months to construct.

“My question is what if evolution went a different way [and] we evolved a nature that could fly instead of swim. Coming from a place like Canberra where it’s a planned city that’s really tried to integrate and blend in with the natural environment, it makes a lot of sense to make this sort of huge, gigantic, but artificial and natural-looking creature.”

http://www.australiantimes.co.uk/news/in-australia/canberra-skywhale-birthday-balloon-floats-into-critical-storm.htm

Canada's Jedi Knight Population is Shrinking

In a recent survey by Statistics Canada, the Jedi Knight population was found to have dropped to less than half of what it once was. At it's peak, the Order had close to 20,000 members. Now, the number has dropped to 9,000. Analysts are stumped as to the cause of the drop-off, which has also been observed in other countries. In 2001, many English speaking countries experienced an explosion in people reporting their religion as "jediism" to national surveys. In Australia alone, 70,000 people reported that they were a part of the Jedi Order in 2001, but that number has since dropped. At its root, Jedi-ism is a heartfelt, peaceful religion that is closer to Buddhism than anything seen in the movies. In any case, this population drop is concerning.



http://www.jedichurch.org/
http://www.orderofthejedi.org/
http://www.templeofthejediorder.org/  (<---Jedi Creed)

Peanuts Recalled, Didn't Have Warning Labels for People With Allergies

The Food Standards Agency has issued an allergy alert, forcing a supermarket chain in England to recall over 300 packets of peanuts, because they didn’t have a label that warned people with peanut allergies of the presence of peanuts. The chain has 29 stores across North England, and they ended up removing 300 packets of “Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey Nuts” from their shelves. In a released statement, the supermarket apologized for not properly informing people of the presence of peanuts with a warning label. 

“If you have an allergy to peanuts, please do not consume this product and return it to your local store for a full refund.”

Just to recap, the FSA forced a recall on peanuts because they didn’t have labels warning people with peanut allergies.  

French Bus Drivers Protest Tight Pants

Bus drivers in Marseilles, France, are planning to go on strike this weekend. The drivers have threatened a one day walkout, because the trousers of their new uniform are "just too tight." A walkout like this can cause a bus company to potentially lose thousands of dollars in profits, especially if participation is high enough. Though it may seem like a minor issue, some of the employees are becoming quite frustrated. In response to the reports of discomfort, the designer of the new uniform  sneered, saying that, "That was already the case with the old outfits." Tensions are high, and it's anyone's guess what will happen.

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2013/04/19/Bus-drivers-to-strike-because-uniform-pants-are-too-tight/UPI-59041366394339/

New App Aims to Prevent Icelandic Incest

A team of Icelandic software designers have recently released an app called "IslendigaApp." The apps slogan? "Bump the app before you bump in bed." The app allows users to bump phones with a potential sexual partner, which triggers a search of an ancestry website to confirm that the two consenting adults are not too closely related. If the users are, say, first cousins, an "incest alarm" will loudly sound. The app currently has very positive reviews on the Apple Store. Especially in Iceland, where there are only 300,000 people, inadvertent incest is a problem that is all too real. This app aims to use innovative technology to prevent such awkward occurrences.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/future_tense/2013/04/17/islendingaapp_icelanders_bump_phones_before_sex_to_check_anti_incest_app.html

Man Breaks World Record for Most Eggs Cracked With Head in One Minute

A week ago, Scott Damerow was nothing more than a freshman at the Georgia Institute of Technology. But after he broke the previous world record for eggs broken with head in one minute, Scott was quickly elevated to super-stardom. Scott crushed a whopping 142 eggs in 60 seconds, using only his cranium. A soccer superstar in high school Scott thinks that his mad soccer skillz may have helped him with cracking the eggs. "I'm used to heading soccer balls in, I figured I might as well use my hard head to break a world record." However, this is not an endeavor for the faint of heart. Scott's noggin took quite a beating, and afterwards he said,

"My head felt pretty numb after than. I didn't even realize I got cut by an egg shell because I had so much adrenaline."

Watch the video at the link below. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/08/scott-damerow-cracks-142-eggs-world-record_n_3039296.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Top Secret Government Plan: "Project UPS" Leaked

Earlier this week, an infamous hacker going by the handle  "Nude-By-Marmot" released top secret documents from the United States Pentagon. These documents apparently document the Pentagon's plan to deal with the volatile nation of North Korea. Code named "Project UPS," the plan involves three B-52 stealth bombers, and copious amounts of a dangerous drug known as brown-brown. According to the 16 page document, over the last 6 months, the United States government has been purchasing and stockpiling large amounts of cocaine and gunpowder. These narcotic purchases have been facilitated by famous author Ishmael Beah, who has strong connections to the Sierra Leone brown-brown trade. Several top-secret facilities may already be in the process of purifying the drug, on US soil. At Area 51, B-52 stealth bombers have been outfitted with an air-to-ground dispersal system to allow the narcotic to be evenly distributed over North Korea from the air. The plan seems to suggest that the plan, known as "B-Day," will be set into motion next year on Kim Jong Un's birthday. The plan is reminiscent of the Opium Wars, where the UK debilitated China's economy through opium addiction. The bombers will release close to a thousand kilos over North Korea over 5 months, where it will be ingested daily by the unwitting citizens below. For a few weeks, there will be little discernible difference. The light dusting of brown-brown will be just enough to unconsciously addict the people of North Korea. After 5 months of biweekly stealth dispersal, the United States plans to present North Korea with the following ultimatum,

"Surrender your nukes, and in exchange the United States will keep you supplied with brown-brown."

At the time this went to print, neither the Pentagon nor Dennis Rodman had responded to the leak.

Known to have connections to Brown-Brown trade

Brown-brown, in it's purest form 

The B-52 stealth bomber, the plane that will be used to dust North Korea with Brown-Brown