Long Awaited Oregon Trail Sequel Announced

Today, the legendary game company MECC has announced that they are back in business. The educational game giant has apparently been working on Oregon Trail 6 since last year October, and have set the release date as sometime in the summer of 2013. Leaked concept art suggests that the game will be more interactive, more educational, and more fun than ever before. Don Rawitsch, the original creator of Oregon Trail held a press conference last week at the historical location of Fort Laramie. 

"What we are trying to do, I think, is to teach these kids. That's what it comes down to really. I mean, the Oregon Trail is about learning. And a little bit of hunting. We have completely overhauled the hunting system. Now, depending on the size of your party, you can carry anywhere from 10 to 500 pounds of meat back. We've revolutionized also the river fording algorithm, and trading has been overhauled. Needless to say, this is going to be GOTY 2013, not a doubt in my mind."

More dysentery, more ox thiefs, more Inependence Rock, more buffalo hunting, summer 2013. 

   Screenshot from Oregon Trailz 6

Sock Thief Still at Large in Japan

A high-school girl was attacked by an unidentified man this Friday, Japanese authorities say. In what may be the largest sock-stealing crime series of our generation, many young Japanese women are having their socks stolen. The girl's identity has not yet been revealed to the public. Reports say that the assailant wrestled the young woman to the ground, removed her left sock, and then left the scene. This is the third incident in which young girls have had their socks stolen while walking home. 4 other girls in the same neighborhood have had at least one sock stolen since September, possibly by the same guy. Reports have described the thief as short, 30 something male wearing a black jacket. Interestingly, most of the reports seem to indicate that this socklifter is only interested in one of his victim's socks, rather than the pair.

Man dresses up as giraffe, does good deed

...Scotland.
Armstrong Baille, a 30-something year old unemployed do-gooder has recently found his life's calling; dressing up as a giraffe and spreading goodwill and charity wherever he goes. Armstrong says the idea came to him one day while he was sitting on the toilet. His favorite animal is the giraffe. Armstrong uses his djembe drum and his kazoo to spread joy, and also walks dogs, hands out free coffee, and picks up litter. Although Armstrong says that he enjoys his work, he would still like to get a job and start making some money sometime in the near future.

New Zealand SPCA to Teach Dogs How to Drive

Yes, you read that correctly. The Auckland SPCA wants to teach dogs how to drive cars. Master animal trainer Mark Vette is confident that man's best friend is intelligent enough to be taught how to operate an automobile. Three dogs were selected: a schnauzer, a whippet, and a beardie. The program started a couple months ago, and progress is going smoothly enough. Lessons now are revolving around teaching the dogs how sit up and push buttons. The dogs are able to change gears, brake, and accelerate. Only time will tell if this endeavor will be successful.

http://www.todaysthv.com/news/watercooler/237286/70/Must-See-New-Zealand-SPCA-teaching-dogs-how-to-drive

English Woman Participates in No Shave November; Results are a Little Bit Hairy

Every November, hundreds of thousands of men undertake an oath to restrain from shaving for the entire month to raise awareness for male cancers. However, there are not many women who participate, and there are even less women who are capable of growing a full on grizzly beard. Siobhain Fletcher is one of these such women. She first heard about No Shave November from a friend, and then decided to support the cause. Siobhain Fletcher has a condition called PCOS, or Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which causes an imbalance in her female hormones. Throughout her life, she has had anxiety issues due to her condition. She has often been mistaken for a man. Siobhain simply wants people to know that,

"People shouldn't judge you on what you have on your face, it's what's inside that matters."

So far, Fletcher has raised just under $2000 for Movember.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/28/siobhain-fletcher-woman-grows-beards-for-movember_n_2206092.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News

World Record Set for Four Legged Dash by Kenichi Ito

Kenichi Ito has officially become the fastest 4 legged sprinter in the world. On Friday, Kenichi defended his Guiness World Record, and in the process actually broke his previous record of 18.58 seconds with a sprint of 17.47 seconds. Kenichi models his unique running style after the African Patas monkey. Kenihci talks about the difficulties of cultivating his running style.

"In the streets around here I get stopped by the police, so I went up into the mountains for about a month for a kind of four-legged training camp," he said. "But on the first day, a hunter mistook me for a wild boar, and he tried to shoot me."

Despite the unorthodox nature of Kenichi's running style, he remains confident that it will eventually catch on.

"One day, I am certain that all sprinters will be running on all fours," he said, according to Metro. "That is my dream."

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/video/2012/nov/16/kenichi-ito-fastest-four-limbs-video

Russian Grandmother Kills Wolf with Axe

Russia has done it again. Aishat Maksudova, a 56 year old grandmother living in Novo Biryuzyay, Dagestan defended her livestock against an attacking wolf with just an axe. The wolf clenched onto Aishat's leg, and bit her arm. However, Aishat says

"I was not even frightened"

Aishat admitted that she had waned to throttle the wolf to death, but was not able to. So she reached for the nearby axe and hacked the beast to death. 

"And then I took the axe and hit him on the head."

Luckily, Aishat is okay, and seems unshaken by the incident. The wolf, on the other hand, is not so well off. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-XDdq3Iv48

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/917706-grandma-in-russia-kills-wolf-with-bare-hands-and-axe?ref=fb_invite_declined

New Rodent Contorl Program in Johannesburg

Johannesburg has a rodent problem. The city is a perfect breeding ground for the pests, and the population has skyrocketed. The infestation is so bad that there have been reports of children having their fingers bitten in their sleep. Recent efforts to trap and kill these creatures haven't seen much success. An initiative to utilize owls to hunt the rodents failed because many citizens were scared of the owls. However, the charity group Lifeline has a new idea. As an incentive, Lifeline is offering one cellphone in exchange for 60 dead rodents. The cell phones were donated by a local cellphone company. So far, the program has been quite successful. A local was interviewed, after catching 23 rats in one night with traps. He doesn't plan to stop until everyone in his family has a phone.

 “It’s easy. You put your leftover food inside and the rats climb inside, getting caught as the trap door closes,”

Some animal-rights groups have spoken up, calling the initiative inhumane. While this is the most successful program to date, there has been speculation that some people will take to breeding and raising the rodents for the incentive.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/02/kill-60-rats-get-a-cellphone_n_2065999.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Irate Woman Sets Vending Machine on Fire

A North Carolina woman has taken vending machine rage to the next level. Gilbert Crary, a Piggly Wiggly employee,  could not believe his eyes when he viewed the surveillance tapes from the past night. Apparently furious that the vending machine outside the Piggly Wiggly had stolen her money and would not refund it, 43 year old Debra Johnson retrieved a newspaper from a nearby trash can, stuffed it into the machine, and lit the machine on fire. She then purchased a drink from a nearby machine, and left the scene of the crime. Accordingly, Debra has been tracked down and is now being charged with a felony for burning personal property. When asked whether she planned to contest the charges brought against her, Debra has said,

"I don't need a lawyer to lie for me, because I'mma tell you I done it."


Debra Johnson is due in court sometime this week. 

Cage Fighting Grandmother

 56 year old Vermont native Khandace Cossitt wants her shot in the ring. Khandace has a wish that most women her age don't- she wants to be a MMA cage fighter. Cossitt claims she has a lot of fighting experience, and desperately wants to show off her mixed martial arts skills.

“They pick at me and pick at me and I’m like okay, I let it slide, and then . . . they will be decked.”
Candace says of the many men she has fought. 

Khandace has been a stripper, a bouncer, a burlesque performer, and also a horse trainer. She has been mistaken for a man many times. Khandace insists that cage fighting is the way to go.

"This just stops me from beating up the general public, god bless ‘em,” said Khandace. 

So far, Khandace has not heard back from the cage fighting promoter she contacted. But luckily, she has a backup plan if she is not accepted into the MMA fighting circuit. Cossitt plans to "steal the show" at a local fighting arena, where she will steal the microphone and challenge anyone in the crowd to a bare-fisted brawl.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/21/brawling-grandmother-khandace-cossitt-wants-cage-fight_n_1992704.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news#slide=1508029

Fashion Persecution in Australia

This week, Australia native David Hoogland claims he was unjustly persecuted because of his fashion decisions. David was having some drinks with his fiance and some friends at a rooftop bar on the Western Coast of Australia when he was asked to leave. When asked for a reason, the manager stated that his mullet hairstyle was not welcome in their bar, and that he would need to leave immediately. Hoogland was quoted as saying,

"I agree if you're being rowdy, out of control, drunk or abusive then you should be kicked out but if you're just sitting down having a chat and a quiet social drink, I think that's pretty rude,"
 

David Hoogland has been rocking the mullet since the late 90's. What will happen next? Will Hoogland sue the establishment for unjust persecution? What will this mean for mulleteers everywhere?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/15/david-hoogland_n_1957757.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Gotta Catch Em' All- PETA Edition

This week, the infamous animal rights group PETA has turned it's focus to a more virtual cause: Pokemon. In what they have described as a "war on virtual animal cruelty" PETA has decried the popular video game series for teaching children to abuse animals.

"The amount of time that Pokemon spend stuffed in Pokeballs is akin to how elephants are chained up in train carts, waiting to be let out to 'perform' in circuses," said one representative.

Specifically, PETA are targeting Pokemon: Black and White 2, the most recent in a long series of Pokemon games. Pokemon is one of our generations most popular video game series, and has become not only a video game, but has ballooned into TV shows, apparel, toys, and trading cards. Pokemon is a multimillion dollar corporation, and PETA believes that children should not be playing these games because they teach them to become animal abusers. And, on top of this all, PETA has released a spoof of Black and White 2 on its website, called "Gotta Free Em All," in which players take on the role of the Pokemon and battle against their abusive trainers.

Check it out. 

Has PETA gone too far this time? Are the Pokemon games a touchstone of our childhood, or are they animal cruelty simulators?

http://news.cnet.com/8301-10797_3-57528398-235/peta-wages-war-on-pokemon-for-virtual-animal-cruelty/

The World's First "Cuddle-Cafe" Opens in...Japan

In this weeks news, a milestone for lonely people everywhere. Japan has opened this world's first ever "cuddle cafe" in Tokyo. Soineya, which translates to "sleep together shop" opened recently in the electronics district of Tokyo. Soineya hopes to offer "the simple and ultimate pleasure of sleeping together with someone." Let's take a look at the costs.

Entrance admission: 3,000 yen.  =  $40 USD.

Standard Course
20 min – 3,000 yen  =  $40 USD
60 min – 6,000 yen  =  $75 USD
2 hrs – 11,000 yen   = $140 USD
3 hrs – 16,000 yen   = $205 USD
4 hrs – 20,000 yen   = $250 USD
5 hrs – 25,000 yen   = $320 USD
6 hrs – 30,000 yen    = $380 USD
10 hrs – 50,000 yen   = $650 USD

Optional Course
Customer sleeps in girl’s arm (3 min) – 1,000 yen = $12 USD
Girl pats customer on the back (3 min) – 1,000 yen
Customer pets girl on the head (3 min) – 1,000 yen  
Customer and girl stare at each other (1 min) – 1,000 yen
Girl changes clothes (1 time) – 1,000 yen
Girl gives customer foot massage (3 min) – 1,000 yen
Customer gives girl foot massage (3 min) – 2,000 yen    = $24 USD
Customer sleeps with head on girl’s lap (3 min) – 1,000 yen
Girl sleeps with head on customer’s lap (3 min) – 2,000 yen

The opening of this business raises questions about non-sexual prostitution. Is there a market for stuff like this? Will this type of establishment come to America? Only time will tell.

Official Website
http://soineya.net/ 

Original Article

Global Bacon Shortage "Unavoidable."

In a recent press release from the U.K National Pig Association, it was revealed that pork shortages will almost undoubtedly lead to a global bacon shortage. Due to the droughts in Northern America and Russia, the price of pig-feed has skyrocketed. Pig farmers throughout Europe are reporting smaller herds, and while the U.K is experiencing a bacon and sausage shortage right now, the issue will probably become global in the next year.

"British Pig Executive Mick Sloyan warned a private meeting of British and mainland Europe retailers at a Brussels summit yesterday that a fall of only 2 percent in slaughterings next year will cause prices to rise by 10 percent."

What will this mean for America? What will this mean for bacon lovers everywhere? We can only wait as this story develops. 

Fishy Business in Peoria

In this weeks news, Illinois natives Nate Wallick and Zach Hoffman are making waves with their innovative new carp-population control methods. In the mid 80's Asian Carp were accidentally introduced to the habitat of the Mississippi River. Since then, the population of these invasive fish has skyrocketed, all the while as they pushed further North towards our precious Great Lakes. These fish spawn 3 times a year, hog all the plankton, and destroy ecosystems wherever they go. Zach and Nate decided to take a stand against this foreign menace, by utilizing extremely non-conventional methods to catch the invasive Asian Carp. The Peoria Carp Hunters (as they have called themselves) use various weapons such as swords, pitchforks, tennis rackets, and home made armor to neutralize their targets...while water-skiing. No word from PETA yet, though there probably will be. Although this may not be the most efficient way to control the population of these carp, it is definitely the most passionate, exciting, and colorful form of fishing this world has ever seen.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/technology/2012/09/fish-hunters-use-pitchforks-water-skis-to-hunt-asian-carp/

They also charter " aerial carp-bow-hunting" fishing trips.

http://www.peoriacarphunters.com/Home_Page.html

Heavily Intoxicated North Korean Man Floats to South Korea on Piece of Driftwood

This week an extremely drunk young man from North Korea appears to have floated on a small wooden board all the way to South Korea, just off the coast of Gyodong Island. Police reports indicate that the man was found wearing nothing but his boxers and was under the influence of a substantial amount of alcohol. Not surprisingly, the man didn't seem to remember the series of events that led to his involuntary migration. South Korean officials have offered the young man citizenship, though if he so wishes, he will be allowed to return to North Korea. That must have been one hell of a party.

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/news/regions/asia-pacific/south-korea/drunk-north-korean-man-floats-south-korea

First Internation Cat Video Festival goes Purr-fectly

On August 30th, a crowd of more than 10,000 people congregated at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis with the sole purpose of watching cat videos. This was the first Annual International Cat Video Festival. After watching around 70 short videos selected from the thousands submitted online, a winner was finally chosen by online voters, and the esteemed "Golden Kitty Award" was presented to this master of feline-filmography. In addition to a grand prize winner, there were also categories for drama, comedy, foreign, animated, etc. After such a successful first festival, it can only be hoped that there will be more Cat Video Festivals in the future.

 Watch the winning video, "Henri 2, Paw de Deux" below.

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